Time Flies

Its hard to believe it is already Friday! It hasn't hit me yet that I am actually here. Things have been crazy busy since I landed! Lets recap: 

Left OKC Tuesday at 12:20, I sat next to a very lovely man from OKC that was on his way to Niagara Falls, he installs breathalyzers in cars :) that made me smile because I knew exactly what he did! Arrived in Chicago at 2:30. Got to my gate at 2:45 for my 3:45 flight- stopped and got a pumpkin spice frap from starbucks and a muffin for lunch. The terminal was packed. When they did start loading at about 3:15 everyone on their grandmas got in line.... i missed that memo... But no worries, about 3:25 when I realized everyone was gone I too got in line! Once in line I realized my backpack was waaaay to big and I really didnt want to sit with it between my legs like i did for the last flight! So i voluntarily asked if it would fit and the lady laughed and said no, i would have to check it. I was not excited about this because that means it would be more, so I groaned, but proceeded to the check out deciding i would rather spend another $100 than be uncomfortable for an 8 hour flight! To my pleasant surprise, they checked the bag for free and said I could pick it up with the rest of my luggage in Dresden! Once on the plane, I was in the second seat in next to an older lady who wanted me to change seats with her grandson, that she wanted me to find.... i chuckled and told her I would not mind changing seats, but I did not know her grandson, therefore I did not know who to look for. She found him, we switched, it was great! It was about 3:45 at this point. We move out and get in line to take off and get going around 4:15-ish. I sat next to a lady from Illinois who is on a Martin Luther tour in Germany, and a man from Poland who was visiting family in Chicago on Holiday. It was a great flight! I didnt sleep much though, which was not to my advantage but it all worked out. I pretty much lost my night. We arrived about 6:50 in frankfurt the next morning (whuch would have been about 11:50 pm OK time).

Wednesday: Arrived in Frankfurt. After unloading the plane, I found a man under a sign that was helping people and he looked at my ticket, told me my gate had changed and crossed out the 9:30 and wrote 8:30. (9:30 was the leave time from frankfurt to dresden). So I went on my merry way to find my gate. Got my passport stamped with no problems. I met another very nice man who was on vacation from Chicago and was meeting a freind in Frankfurt and then they were traveling for 2 weeks. There was also a very helpful lady behind me that grew up in Virginia and then moved to Italy (her mom was in the military) in high school and met her husband and has been their since. She gave me a lot of helpful tips and helped me not freak out looking for my gate! I found the new gate, only to find that the plane had not been moved up an hour, so I still had plenty of time. I bought a coke because I was soooo thirsty! It was 3 Euro, booo! waited for my flight and arrived in Dresden about 10:30. I walked out around 10:50ish and found Larry and Pam, and Roy and Tiffany waiting :) yay for friends! We loaded up and headed back to Chemniz where Karen and a delicious lasagna waiting and we all had lunch together, and Marc and Karen got to come too! That afternoon Tiff took me up to a some stores and showed me how to get there, which will be very handy! We came back and I unpacked my room and stuff to get settleded, then we went over and helped Marc and Karen load up their moving vans. I was exahusted. 

Thursday: Woke up at 3 am and had a mini-freak out. But it was okay :). Went back to sleep at 4 and did not wake up to my alarm when it went off at 7 :(. I heard larry knocking at 8 and jumped up and got ready super fast and we were on the road by 8:15 to Leipzig to unload Marc and Karen. They live on the 4th floor I think, something like that, it was up a lot of stairs! We got them all moved in, started to head back, stopped and McDonalds for lunch then got back around 3:30. I got to speak with Larrys reader, I dont remember his name so we will call him Mr. Man, he was nice, I read with him once last summer for Clint. Then Larry got home, and i went to the church with Karen to help her clean. Got back a few minutes til 6. Got ready for English Bible study since it was here, and then people started to come around 6:45. Bible study was great, we talked about choosing our actions. Then I went to bed yay :). 

Friday: Got up and went downtown with Roy and Tiffany, got lots of stuff :)! They are getting ready to paint their apartment! and I just got back and had my first Donor. Ok I gotta get off of here, we (Karen, Janine and myself) are going on a Singles Retreat this weekend and I need to pack and go buy a snack! 

Please keep my fundraising in your prayers. Funds are coming in, but very slowly! I have around 5 of 30 thousand. 

Quote: Dare not to do what the world expects you to do! ~William Zinsser 

Guten Morgan

I made it! Just wanted to update on here. Will post more tomorrow night when I have a chance! I hit the ground running as soon as I got here which is good and will be busy until next week! YAY!!!!! Im going back to bed because its around 3 am here! 

Leaving on a Jet Place

I leave in about 11 hours. I am getting up in about 4 1/2 and have to leave PV by 8 to make it to the airport by 10 to leave by 12. its going to be a long day tomorrow.

I did better today than I expected. I had my going away at OC on thursday night, that was rough. It seems to be getting easier though. Today I said bye to 3 of my closest friends, ehhhhh. I didnt cry though! I got a little teary at each, but no crying! Tomorrow I dont expect the same luck though. 

There is already a lot to do in Chemnitz so that makes me happy! Thursday is a womens devotional (which ill need to do the assigned reading on the plane!) and then Friday Karen has invited a group over to work on some english songs and hang out!

I've got most everything packed. I really didnt even know what to take and what not to take. I am going to have to have dad ship me over one box/bag. Mainly shoes and sweatshirts. Both of my bags are currently 49.8 lbs! lets hope they are the same at the airport tomorrow! 

Ok well i'm going to try to get some sleep before its time to get up again! Lady is sleeping at my feet :). Oh yea! Dad and I went cemetery hunting on Saturday! That was great! We saw around 8 cemeteries I think! We went north and west of the Whichta mountains! We saw some cool stuff! I will see if I can post a few pics! 

Quote: "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~Unknown. 

Surreal

Sleep seems to be eluding me these past few weeks. I seem so very tired, and then get to bed and cant sleep. No fun. 

I am heading up to Edmond in the morning, busy day tomorrow. Going to get some pics done for mom and dad. They keep complaining I haven't gotten any pictures since my senior pics in high school so im trying to be a good daughter before I go and at least take some lol. 

I'm having my going away at OC tomorrow night. Saturday dad and I are going to find some old cemeteries just west of lawton, :) im excited! Then courtney is coming over for the OU game! Sunday is going to be rough, ill have to say lots of good byes to family. 

On that note- mom is actually excited about coming to visit me in Germany! She wasnt to keen on the idea at first, but she has warmed up to it! I think we are going to try for next year right after I get back from my 3 week furlough. It will be a good time of year when it isnt crazy over there and mom can put in for the leave early. Anyways, yay for actually getting her to come! Now comes raising the funds and getting her passport in! 

I've started to pack! I've got a lot of stuff.... I got my hoodies and jackets packed today, they are heavy lol. Monday ill finish packing everything. I'm afraid im going to go over my weight limit, but dad said he'd ship me over stuff if I couldn't get it all in 2 bags so thats nice to know although id like to get it in if I can! 

I went on a drive tonight with my dog Lady. We used to go on drives all the time. She is about 14 years old now, she used to stick her head out the window and let her ears blow in the wind, now she lays her head on the window sill and sticks her nose out lol. Oh well, she still enjoys it! Everything seems very surreal right now. As if I'm going through the motions with no real control over anything. 

Anyways, its getting close, 5 days! I'm really excited to get over and start work. I know its going to be tough the first couple days, but I think ill be okay once i get in the swing of things. 

This truly has been an amazing experience, and as much as it is confusing, and hurts at times, it is comforting to know that God is in control. There is an under laying peace that follows each of the rough times. God is good. I'll be saying that a lot in the times to come. God is good. 

Quote for this post: "I see my path, but I dont know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it." Rosalia  Castro 

Time Flies

Less than 2 weeks and ill be in Germany. It still hasn't really sunk in yet. I was thinking about saying goodbye this afternoon on my drive in and just balled the entire way. I know I will see everyone again, it is just the control freak part of me that is going crazy. I guess I dont want people to forget me. Not that they will, but it is never fun saying goodbye. I'm not looking forward to the flight. Its going to be hard. Very hard. I know this. 

Funds are still coming in. Slowly, but they are coming. I printed off another rd of letters yesterday and hope to get them out today. I just coped churches out of a book and am highlighting as i send them letters lol. Who knows. 

It feels weird to be done with college. Not that i haven't had anything to do... lol ive got sooo much to do!  I did get my health insurance taken care of, yay! 

In case your wondering, one disregard how yucky i look because its nearly 1 am and im in bed, and 2, its thermal... okay but back to the story, this is my cat Callie, she sleeps with me when ever im home. She also follows me down the street when i leave. I will miss her, shes my kitty :). She is looking at me thinking, "what in the world are you doing?" I love it! 

Anyways, i think that is it for now. Prayers would be appreciated, its going to be a rough couple of weeks! 

What is life?

I am in senior philosophy right now... it is an interesting class to say the least. We are discussing the "deep" stuff.... if thats what you wish to refer to it as. 

I did find one of the discussions a bit more interesting to than the rest. I believe it was Berkley who said that we arent really matter (our being/physical self) and nothing really exists except God and our mind/souls. Our minds create everything that we need/think we need for it to make sense, but it is the mind that goes on and gives life meaning, but matter (everything physical) is not real, simply a figment of our imagination....

Its been in interesting class. Part of me says, "who in the world cares?" and the other part finds it interesting. We have our first test tomorrow.... hopefully ill do well, im nervous not gonna lie! 

Tomorrow is the garage sale.... the one i'm not supposed to know about ;). Hopefully there will be a good turn out though. I am truly amazed at the generosity of people though. I HATE absolutely HATE fundraising with a passion, i feel like i'm begging people for money. But it is slowly starting to come in! Slowly but surely! I need about $10,000 more for this year and $13,000 for next. But im going for baby steps, this year first and next when it gets here! 

Alright well i'm super tired and cant concentrate to study so i think im going to take a nap and then try to study! 

"To be is to do" Kant  

The Human Condition

It seems at first sight that there is no hope for the human heart. There is heart, or there isn't. As a person, a human, we are here, we live and then we die. The End. Or, as a Christian, we are here, we live, we love, and we die and go to heaven. Somewhere in the middle, we have to get the living part down. Why do we care? Why should we care? 

People never cease to surprise me. Never. The kindness that one heart can hold. Imagine if all of that is combined! What if everyone could love so deeply, so intensely. And im not talking to physical love, or the emotional love, im talking the agape love. 

There is hope for humanity. As long as there is God, there will be hope. :) 

"If I discover within myself a desire in which no experience within this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.  CS Lewis 

Take My Breath Away

Oh! Why should the spirit of mortal be proud? Like a swift-fleeting meteor, a fast flying cloud, a flash of the lighting, a break of the waves. A man passes from life to his rest in the graves. ~William Knox from Morality Lincoln's favorite hymn. 

Pride. 

Oh Pride. 

Fund raising has defiantly taken a hit on my pride.  And that is exactly what it is, my pride. God will and does provide, it is just a matter of me being humble and asking. Who am I to stand in Gods way? Who am I not to be His instrument? Oh pride. Pride. 

I am going to take a leap and buy my ticket, i have approximately $1,400 thus far and a ticket is around $1,300. In August I will get around $12,000 from the church which will help provide for the first few months, but funds will still have to continue to come in since that will only provide for about 9-10 months. 

Anyways, so goes life. Another peanut butter sandwich in a brown paper bag. 

"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." ~Unknown. 

Rationalizing the Heart

When did people start to rationalize their hearts? Since when do we as humans stop listening to our hearts? When do we stop listening to that little tug? Do people still feel that tug? 

What I fear most is when the tug is longer there. It is like becoming desensitized to our hearts. I dont know about ya'll, but I dont ever want that to happen! 

I always revert back to the book my Erwin McManus, "The Barbarian Way". McManus describes a conversation with his daughter in which he is in the car with her and is asking her about when she grows up. She tells him she wants to make lots of money so she can give it all away and help people. McManus, in an attempt to do his fatherly duty and talk some reason into his daughter, tries to talk to her about saving some to take care of herself. How it is good to give, but we also have to take care of ourselves. McManus' daughter then begins to cry saying he doesn't understand, she didn't say she wanted to be homeless or that she would be, she just wanted to help people and she wanted him to support that. 

I think that is how we have become as a nation, as individuals. We try to rationalize what it is that our heart is telling us to do. When all we are really supposed to do is love. Be that love in time, money, encouragement, leadership, however it is that you are blessed to serve, SERVE! 

Quote: "Dont try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough." Arthur Freed 

People Watching

I am a self-pronounced people watcher. If I could make a living in people watching, I totally would! I love to people watch. 

The 4th of July was this weekend, I got to see my aunt and uncle and cousins which i haven't seen in a few years. I did a lot of people watching. My youngest cousin, Matthew, has a heart problem, he's had it since he was born. Ultimately the left side of his heart is non-existent. He has had lots of surgeries but is done for a while, his last one which he had about 2 years ago, should last until he is a teenager. Anyways, I say all that to tell you I completely forgot he even had a problem until I saw him playing and realized how quickly he got red and tired before his brother. 

I am sitting in panera enjoying a lovely supper. I am currently trying to figure out the best way to non-cholantly take a picture of the deliciousness. There we go, yay for webcams!

Anyways, through all of my people watching experiences I have come to the realization of how interdependent we are as humans upon each other. I am watching a father and daughter, she seems to be around 2 and he is young, maybe his late 20s. It is just untresting to me how much trust that she openly places in this man. In the same way, Matthew needs his parents. 

I was reading quotes this morning, and I stumbled across one that went something like this: "How bold we can be when we are assured of being loved." 

As Christians we are assured of love in such a way. I look at the mission field, and there is something within me saying "go" whispering it. I know its not me, because everything else within me is screaming "what the heck are you doing?". And yet there is God. Quietly whispering, "go". 

I am so afraid of listening to that whisper. It seems to be so sure, so absolute. But I am more afraid of not listening. Of not going. 

I found a sign off Rt 66 a while back when I was driving around, and it said "jump and the net will appear" and I laughed at it. Who would do that? But thats what I'm doing isn't it? Isn't that what life is about? Jumping? Where do you get if you never jump? You look. You watch. You never know. Who needs a net. Nets are boring. 

Quote for today: I have had a hard time finding a quote for this week so this is one that just stuck out for me. "No one sees what is before his feet:we all gaze at the stars." Cicero